When Infidelity Strikes: Should You Leave or Stay?

When you took your vows as husband and wife, chances are that neither of you ever thought that infidelity would be a problem in your marriage. After all, you were in love with each other, and you had just taken the most solemn of vows, and entered into a covenant with the person you love more than anyone else in the world.

Unfortunately, infidelity continues to be a problem, even in Christian marriages. In fact, the Christian divorce rate isn’t much different from the divorce rate among non-Christians, and infidelity is usually at the heart of most of these divorces. If you’re struggling in a relationship with a spouse who has been unfaithful, or perhaps you’re the one who has been unfaithful, you might be wondering what the next step is.

Should You Leave or Stay?

That’s the question, which is on the mind of every person who feels as though their spouse has betrayed them because of an affair. Some of my clients have even felt this way when their spouse has engaged in an emotional affair or when pornography is involved. It’s also the question that’s on the mind of many who have made the mistake of having an affair.

It may seem like it’s easier to give up when you have hit a rough spot in your marriage and start over with someone new. However, if there’s any small piece of you who wants to work on repairing your marriage, it is possible to save it. It will take work, but I’ve talked with many clients who have assured me that their marriages were even better after they received the healing they needed following infidelity.

5 Steps Towards Healing After An Affair

●  Assess the reasons for cheating ●  Be apologetic without being defensive ●  Apologize frequently (in other words, keep on apologizing) ●  Grant and receive forgiveness ● Allow time for building trust and healing to take place

That last step is crucial because healing comes in many different forms. If you are the spouse who was cheated on, you’re likely to feel angry over the course of the next few months, or even years. There may be times when you feel like hurling accusations at your partner, and your trust will take some time to build back up again. If you are the spouse who cheated, it is important that you receive forgiveness from both God and your spouse as you move forward.

In Matthew 18:21-22, it says, “Then Peter came up and said to him, ‘Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?’ Jesus said to him, ‘I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven.’”

Forgiveness, reconciliation and restoration are God’s perfect plan for your marriage. While the Bible does allow for divorce in cases of infidelity (Matthew 19:8-9) and abandonment (I Cor. 7:15) that doesn’t mean divorce is the best plan. With God’s love, there is always the ability to turn your marriage around when both parties want to save the marriage. He wants to teach you to love each other with His love. While God is doing that, His power is strong enough to bring healing to your marriage.

I’d love to help you walk through this time either individually, or as a couple. Don’t go it alone. To make an appointment with me, feel free to call or text me at 305-890-6987, or you can call my office at 843-379-0288. You can also visit my  Online Scheduler 24/7 to schedule your own appointment online, at your convenience.

While there are many questions in your mind right now, I think that when we work together to find a solution, quite often your future can be much better than you ever dreamed it could be. Take a moment to visit my website if you wish to learn more about my services at  www.beaufortmarriage.com. I would love the opportunity to help you work toward emerging victoriously during this time in your life.