The Forgotten Art of Cherishing Your Spouse
Think of a few things in your life that you cherish. Perhaps you cherish a piece of jewelry, your Bible or you have an important letter that someone wrote to you years ago that you hold dear. Or, maybe you cherish certain experiences you’ve had, or a hobby that you enjoy.
Now, I’d like you think back to when you were dating your husband or wife. You cherished every moment you spent with that special person, didn’t you? Men, you couldn’t wait to pick her up for a date. When you found out that she prefers cute coffee shops, you jumped at the chance to take her out for the best cappuccino in town. Ladies, when you found out how much he loved fishing, you were eager to join him on the water, even though you had no idea how to bait a hook or reel a fish in. Those days were magical, weren’t they? Can you remember the feelings you felt? The words you said?
Then, of course, you got married. Whether it happened suddenly, or over a period of time, everything changed.
Marriage Changes Things
It’s amazing how much putting a ring on your finger and saying “I do” changes your perception of the other person. Suddenly, those little personality quirks that you used to find adorable, you now find irritating. You start to notice other things that bother you too. Perhaps the guy who always wanted to take you out on the town is now a sluggish couch potato. Or, maybe the woman who loved affection, and enjoyed sex early on in your marriage, now constantly complains of feeling too tired for intimacy with you.
Other factors can all play a part in changing the way we feel about our spouses, as well. You may have found that you don’t see eye to eye when it comes to your spending habits, or maybe you feel like your spouse isn’t holding up his or her end of the deal when it comes to taking care of household chores. These things can be a big problem in a marriage, and over time, they only become bigger.
What’s Your Reaction?
Instead of dealing with the problems at hand, many couples respond to these types of situations in unhealthy ways. Have you been guilty of any of the following:
● Throwing things
● Slamming doors
● Kicking the wall
● Immobilizing your spouse
● Giving the silent treatment
If these types of reactions have become commonplace in your marriage, this is a major concern. Or, perhaps your reactions have been physical ones, but you’ve chosen to respond verbally, instead. Verbal retaliation can hurt just as much.
● Saying, “You’re just like your mother/father.”
● Saying, “You never, or You always…”
● Saying, “I remember when you did this to me a few months ago.”
● Commenting positively on a member of the opposite sex’s appearance
● Refusing to engage in positive interaction
All of these are painful, and they do absolutely nothing to improve your situation.
Whether you’ve been guilty of these actions or words, or your spouse has, the situation you’re facing in your marriage can feel overwhelming. I’d like you to know that help is available to you, and that it is possible to get back to that place where you truly cherish each other once again.
If you’re feeling frustrated in your marriage, and you wish that things could go back to the way they used to be help is available for you, at The Beaufort Center For Marriage in Beaufort, SC. Or, if you live outside the area we can work together either by phone or video call. Call us today at 843-379-0288 or book your appointment via our online scheduler.
Continuing in a pattern of withholding affection, rejecting sexual advances, isolating yourself and disconnecting emotionally is only going to make things worse. Please take that important first step and contact us today. We’re eager to help you get back to cherishing each other in your marriage.
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