True Intimacy in Marriage Begins With Meaningful Conversation

Many couples don’t realize it, but intimacy in marriage is about more than sex. True intimacy begins with making time for meaningful conversations with your spouse.

We are all very busy, and to ensure that you spend enough time connecting with your spouse each day, you really have to make these conversations a priority. At first you’re going to find that it’s difficult. You might not even feel like doing it. If your marriage is starting to lack in intimacy, it can easily begin breaking down. You’ll find that you spend less and less time together, and you may even start avoiding each other. That’s why it’s important to make spending time together a priority.

COUPLE TALKS

According to David Clarke’s book, “I Don’t Want A Divorce,” every couple should strive to reconnect with each other by scheduling time to have regular conversations. He recommends at least four talks that last thirty minutes each, every week. At first, you might find that these talks are a little bit awkward. However, don’t give up. If you wait until you “feel like” talking, you’ll never do it. Remember, these talks are giving you the opportunity to get to know each other again, and it won’t be long before the intimacy in your marriage is restored.

HOW TO BEGIN

Husbands, it’s important for you to initiate taking the time to have these conversations with your wives. You will want to choose a time when you’re not too tired to carry on a conversation, and you will also want to be sure you won’t be distracted. This might mean putting older children in charge of the younger ones for at least half an hour. No TV, computer, or pets to distract you. This is a time for you to escape together, and focus on each other.

Begin your time together with a short prayer. Prayer is a great way to connect with your spouse, and God will soften your hearts and prepare you to reconnect. You may find that it’s helpful for you to do devotions together during this time as well. Many couples’ devotionals have short sections you can read, and they provide questions for you to answer at the end of each one. I recommend “Night Light” by James and Shirley Dobson and “Moments Together for Couples” by Dennis and Nancy Rainey. These are both excellent devotional books, and God will use them to bring you closer together.

Use this time to share what’s on your mind. Perhaps you’re experiencing a challenge in your own spiritual life, or you have a story about something that happened at work that you’d like to share. Try to avoid sensitive areas that might create conflict in your marriage. This isn’t the time to deal with conflict, and you’re not ready for that yet.

A CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE COACH AND COUNSELOR CAN HELP

Your marriage is important to God, and when you make intimacy a priority, He will bless your time together. Even though it may be a struggle at first, take the initiative and make these talks happen.

If you’re struggling in your marriage, it’s often helpful to get the support of a Christian Marriage Coach and Counselor to help you. At The Beaufort Center For Marriage in Beaufort, SC, we enjoy helping couples just like you begin to work toward healing your troubled marriage. If you live outside the area we can also work together either by phone or video call. Call us today at 843-379-0288 or book your appointment through our online scheduler.

God has great plans for you and your spouse. When you take the time to reconnect with each other, you’ll find that your obedience to God will result in more blessings than you can imagine in your marriage.