Whether you are dating, engaged, newly married or celebrating a twenty-fifth anniversary all couples have differences. These differences are not what cause unhappiness, how they are handled is the problem! Selfish demands, ridicule or outbursts of anger do not resolve conflict. Avoiding disagreements is not the answer either. Couples who are happiest resolve their problems. Here is a simple, but effective method to resolve conflict and this method will stop relationship pain.
- Mutually agree upon a place and time to discuss the issue.
- Specifically determine what the problem is, withholding judgment.
- Each of you list ways you contribute to the problem.
- Recall ways you have tried to resolve the problem but have been unsuccessful.
- Brainstorm! Combine your ideas and list 10 potential solutions to the problem. Do not ridicule or judge each other’s suggestions.
- Talk about how useful each suggestion is for resolving the problem.
- Enthusiastically agree on one solution to try.
- Decide how each of you will work toward resolving the issue.
- Set up another time to discuss your progress.
- Praise one another for your personal growth in resolving conflict.
Happy couples have arguments. When happy couples resolve their conflicts they remain respectful; which results in a solid relationship.
Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor:If either of them falls down,
one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Ecclesiastes 4:9-10.
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