3 Ways to Build Trust After a Betrayal
While it’s true that some marriages do not survive an affair or a life dominating pattern of sin-many marriages do. However, once the trust is gone, it’s very hard to get it back. In fact, your marriage may never be the same again. Still, there are some things you can do to rebuild the trust that was lost when you had an affair.
GIVE YOUR SPOUSE SPACE
When your marriage has suffered a betrayal, such as an affair or a sexual addiction, it’s understandable that your spouse is going to be emotional, or even irrational at times. There will be many instances in the near future when your spouse may cry, scream or just need to vent at you. While it might be difficult to deal with, this is an important part of the healing process, and he or she needs space to do it. If your husband or wife needs to talk about the betrayal your response is “let’s talk” even if it is a 2:00 AM. You have known about the marital betrayal for quite some time. You spouse has just learned about it. Give him/her space to come to terms with what has happened.
If you want to rebuild the trust in your marriage, it’s very important for you to remain consistent with everything you say and do. If you make a promise about something, keep your promise. If you say you’ll be home at a certain time, make sure you’re home, or even early. Consistency is a very big part of trust, and as soon as you are not consistent, that allows more doubt to creep into your marriage. Do everything you can to stay true to your word.
It’s very painful for your spouse if you refuse to take responsibility for your actions, and it makes it that much harder for you to earn his or her trust back again. When you have been the one to commit a marital betrayal you are 100% at fault. Avoid placing blame on anyone or anything else for what has happened. Yes, it’s hard to admit that you were wrong, but it’s also going to provide you with the quickest path toward healing your broken marriage and restoring trust.
Finally, talking with a Christian Counselor Marriage Coach can really help you work through the issues you’re facing during this difficult time in your marriage. Rebuilding trust is hard after an affair or any other kind of betrayal. However, if you put in the effort, you will find that it’s definitely worth it.
We would love to help you work through this trying time. If you would like to make an appointment to talk with a Christian Marriage Coach, please contact us at 843-379-0288. You can also use our online scheduler to make your appointment at your convenience.
God has great plans for your marriage, and together, we’re confident that we can work through the problems in a way that’s Biblical and that results in healing.