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Are You Feeling Understood?

Successful couples are at ease when communicating with each other. They are able to express both positive and negative feelings. They do not fear their partner will try to impose their way of thinking through ridicule, lectures or other comments, which are perceived as a put down.

Good communication is dependant on the ablility to carefully listen to your partner, without interrupting and with the ability to repeat what was heard. When each person feels understood, intimacy is increased.  Below are some communication skills, which help improve intimacy.

  1. Give your partner your full attention when speaking.  Get off the computer, end the txting and turn the TV off.  These actions will show your partner you have their undivided attention.
  2. Be complimentary and focus on the positive things you like about your partner.
  3. Share your personal thoughts and feelings.  Don’t just listen, but advise. Engage in the conversation.
  4. Do not criticize or judge.
  5. Do not resort to blaming.  Rather offer solutions, only when asked.
  6. Be proactive and respectful in resolving conflict.
  7. If you are having difficulty with your communication, seek an unbiased  third-party, such as a counselor to help you learn how to improve your communication skills.

“A wise person uses few words; a person with understanding is even tempered.”  Proverbs 17:27

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